Knights of Camelot: More Than Just A Fancy Cloak!
by Christina B
Summary: A guide to surviving the dangers of being a Knight by the Camelot Citizen's Association. Sequel to So You Want To Move To Camelot? HUMOR!


Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, BBC does.

AN: Since my first story So You Want To Move To Camelot? was such a hit (Thanks to all you lovely people who reviewed!), I decided to write the sequel. Since after all there never seems to be a lack of Knights to protect Camelot, yet dozens die every week, lol This story does stand alone so you don't have to read first story to understand it, though I suggest that you do. For the record this story fits in pre The Coming of Arthur as far as the Knights go. I hope you enjoy this crazy brain-child and I'm always grateful for any feedback!

**Knights of Camelot: More Than Just a Fancy Cloak!**

**Written By The Camelot Citizen's Association**

In response to our best selling guide (**So You Want To Move To Camelot?)** we of the C.C.A. are proud to present this manual for those nobles who aspire to be one part of the world's greatest fighting force. Let's face it, for noblemen there is nothing that garners more respect and honor than being a Knight You get a fancy set of armor, uniform and the best made swords. Not to mention the pay which is quite substantial, that is if you are alive to spend it. So if you are thinking about testing to be a Knight, please keep these valuable tips in mind.

**Rule#1: Try not to get killed by magical beasts!**

Camelot seems to draw in every single obscure magical beast known or unknown to man, so if you see one coming, don't try to kill it. Chances are it will either

**A.** Kill you painfully

**B.** Poison you with its venom and then kill you painfully

**C.** Kill you painfully while eating you.

And I know you are thinking, I can handle it, I'm a big, brave knight—well please see **Rule #6**!

**Rule #2: Don't anger Prince Arthur!**

If you want to be a Knight of Camelot, don't anger Arthur because he will either make you muck out the stables on your way to being a knight or he will put you in the stocks. Take your pick. But really you need to suck up to him, laugh at all his jokes, whatever it takes!

**Rule #3: Don't pretend to be a noble, it only ends in tears!**

If you aren't a noble it isn't smart to fake a seal of nobility, because the King will figure it out and you will be thrown in jail. Just saying…

**Rule#4: You are wearing a RED cloak, you WILL stand out!**

Knights of Camelot are always under the delusion that they can sneak stealthily through the woods, but the truth is that they all stand out like sore thumbs. Yes the Pendragon colors are red, but don't think that nobody will see you coming a mile away. Because if you do then you're dead.

**Rule#5: If a stranger throws down a gauntlet, DON'T pick it up!**

Learn from Sir Owain and Sir Pellinore who blindly picked up gauntlets from the same person who turned out to be an undead wraith who killed them both. So forget the Knights code and just ignore it—for example.

**Strange Knight #1:** *Throws down gauntlet.*

**Smart Knight #2:** *Ignores it*

**Strange Knight #1:** Pick it up!

**Smart Knight #2:** I don't fancy dying in battle, thanks.

**Stupid Knight #3:** *Picks it up* I'm not afraid!

**Strange Knight #1** kills **Stupid Knight #3** in battle.

**Smart Knight #1:** I'm happy I forgot my pride and didn't pick up that gauntlet.

As you can see from the example above Smart Knight#3 lived because he didn't pick up the gauntlet, so if you want to live, don't pick it up.

**Rule#6: Arrogance is idiotic!**

I know that all Knights live by their precious code that is all about having pride, dignity, and nobility, blah, blah, blah. But the truth is that most knights are downright arrogant. Now I'm must no include Prince Arthur for if he is arrogant it is not for any of us to mention. But the biggest reason that knights drop like flies in battle is because they are so arrogant in thinking that they will always win. I promise all you aspiring knights, if arrogances gets in the way—you will DIE!

**Rule#7: If the Prince asks for volunteers for a suicide mission, just say NO!**

Just because Prince Arthur asks for volunteers for a dangerous mission doesn't mean you should be eager to jump into the fray. That is why it is called VOLUNTEERING, it means that you don't have to do it! And just because the Prince is going doesn't mean you will not die by default, he has remained almost completely unscathed for some reason. And don't get us started on Sir Leon—talk about miracles!

**Rule#8: If you are fighting soldiers or skeletons that can't die, RUN!**

If you stab someone or something and it just keeps fight, this is a good indication that it is an undead soldier. If you encounter an undead soldier just run, save yourself! You can't help Camelot if you're dead! And believe me if you stick around to fight, you will be!

**Rule#9:** **If there is an open tournament that always has fatalities, DON'T JOIN!**

Really if you are a knight and fight according to the Knights Code, we guarantee that you will fight against people who are proud to fight dirty.

**Rule#10: If you are fighting against magic, a sword WON'T help you!**

We all know King Uther's stance against magic, but there are unfortunate times when you will have to fight against individuals who have magic and don't play fair. They have more power than you, chances are they will kill you. DON'T fight them, BEG for mercy!

If you keep these few helpful tips in mind, you will be well on the way to serving the Knights of Camelot for a long time.

This Public Service Announcement has been paid for by the **Camelot Citizen's Association** with you in mind. The Pendragon family wishes to make quite clear that this is an unofficial guide that they don't approve of. And finally for the love of Camelot, thank you for reading!


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